{"product_id":"goldstar-member","title":"Goldstar Member","description":"\u003cp\u003eProof that you've made at least one financially irresponsible but emotionally satisfying decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Trauma Works Goldstar Membership Card grants absolutely no discounts, rewards, or practical benefits. Instead, it serves as a reminder that modern consumerism isn't about buying things you need. No, it's about acquiring niche merchandise that makes a \u003cem\u003every specific group of strangers\u003c\/em\u003e nod approvingly, or blow some air out of their nose.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMembership benefits may include:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePurchasing stickers you definitely don't have a place for\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConvincing yourself that gucci patches are an investment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eExplaining \"it's a limited run\" to your bank account and\/or girlfriend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAccumulating increasingly obscure merchandise for reasons that remain unclear\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the Club!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis sticker is about the same size as an actual credit card.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Trauma Works","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46388864745669,"sku":null,"price":3.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0657\/5557\/8565\/files\/IMG-2439.jpg?v=1781733703","url":"https:\/\/trauma.works\/products\/goldstar-member","provider":"Trauma Works","version":"1.0","type":"link"}